Touch me
by prettymarauderboy
Summary: One night in his sixteenth summer, Sirius Black was raped by his father. He escapes and takes shelter at James Potter's house for the summer. And that's where this tale begins... (Slash, romance, sex, rape, all that fun stuff)
1. The Night

Title: Touch Me.  
  
Genre: Romance/Fantasy  
  
Rating: R (Rape, sex, violence, suicidal suggestions, some language)  
  
Pairing: Sirius Black/James Potter  
  
Description:  
  
Sirius Black was raped by his father one night in on his sixteenth summer. He runs away to his best friend's house and spends the summer there. Though on two occasions throughout the month, the rapist takes a visit, Sirius finds out something horrible about James, and the Potters realize their son and godson are gay. This is only the beginning.  
  
----  
  
I'm only going to say this once, that I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER or any of the characters. Yet.  
  
Warning: There is slash(boy/boy). If you do not like slash, leave now and forever hold your peace.  
  
Thankies ~~~  
  
James, for role playing most of the story(the beginning, anyway)  
  
You for reading.  
  
And you for reviewing.  
  
-----  
  
Chapter One. That Night.  
  
He grimaced and turned his head away from the wasted man. It was to tiring and confusing to fight anymore. All he could do now was grit his teeth in pain and feel the older man's hot breath on his face.  
  
It will all be over soon, he thought. He hoped. His father pulled away for just a minute --- oh he didn't want to think about it -- and Sirius moved his hand down his own body protectively, only to receive a slap from a many ringed hand.  
  
He rolled to the side of the bed and cupped is cheek, feeling drops of blood trickle down. A tenderness grew and he groaned with pain as his cheek was mashed against the pillow from being rolled over and onto his back.  
  
The humiliated boy screamed once, a long pitiful wail and fell silent, as if the horrible sound took the rest of his voice away.  
  
Some time later, his father was satisfied and left the boy. Sirius lay still until the foot steps down the hall softened and disappeared, and then he rolled out of bed and ran into the bathroom, throwing up everything in his stomach and didn't stop until he saw blood.  
  
At last, he leaned back against the cold wall, breathing painfully and heavily. He felt so sick and ill and lost. What would he do? Would his father do it again? Scared, he crawled into the corner of the small bathroom, shaking violently until he remembered something, something that stuck out.  
  
James voice echoed a single sentence again and again in his mind. 'You are always welcome to my house.'  
  
Without thinking, Sirius went into his bedroom, throwing his belongings into the trunk that lay at the foot of the bed. He pulled on clothes and nervously neared the door with his trunk, hoping his father was now in such a drunk stupor he wouldn't notice the sixteen year old sneaking away.  
  
"Boy, what are you doing?!" The man shouted from the door way and disappeared, most likely off to find some pants and shoes.  
  
Nervously, Sirius dragged the trunk down the road and several blocks, wondering where he was going until he saw the on coming head lights of the Knight Bus.  
  
Sirius waved his right hand for the bus to stop, which came to a screeching halt at his feet. The door slid open and there stood a man of fifty, pulling the trunk into the Knight Bus.  
  
"Welcome to the Knight Bus. We can take you anywhere and everywhere except on private property and oceans. Where would you like to go? For eleven sickles you.."  
  
"Potter Manor." He breathed heavily, throwing a handful of change into the man's hand and shuffled over to one of the beds, sitting down and curling up on it tightly.  
  
"Oi, sorry, sir. Potter Manor's private property. Reigate is only about two or so miles off if you fancy stopping there." When Sirius nodded, the bus gave a huge jolt and was moving forward, causing ebony hair to fly about around his head.  
  
For what seemed like ages, the bus bounced about and the fifty year old man constantly tried to get him into a conversation. It was a great relief when, about an hour later, the bus randomly stopped at the end of the little town named Reigate, letting Sirius off, who, though tired, was more than glad and hurried.  
  
The Potter manor would be about another two miles, which was no problem on his Nimbus 1000 which good go about sixty miles an hour, except that the trunk was very heavy, which would slow the broom down by a lot. Not to mention, to his luck, the wind was beginning to blow against his course.  
  
Swearing a bit, Sirius tied the heavy luggage onto the thin broom, adding his own way onto it and slowly urged the poor stick forward.  
  
About a fourth of the way there.. after about ten minutes, it began to rain. Not like a light, gentle, cooling mist, but a downpour, flooding and sweeping him about like a wave. It got to the point where he couldn't keep his head up, bowing it down and wiping the rain from his eyes constantly.  
  
Though he was strong and his trunk was heavy, periodically Sirius was swept off course. It was a hassle. Fly, blow away, push back over, fly, blow away, push back over. He thought it was hard, he thought it was bad. Until he ran into a tree.  
  
The struggling Sirius had been flying off course and blew into a tree. He feared his broom would blow away, but it was luckily stuck between two branches and under the heavy trunk. Sirius himself was suspended by a thing branch that head hooked onto his shirt and was digging into his back.   
  
'Oh well, isn't this just lovely.' The boy grumbled, grabbing hold of the branch and swinging over and onto it, crawling on the thick limb and over to his broom, all the time getting scratched by nasty thorns and prickly things.  
  
After a few more pitiful minutes of wriggling around on the large tree while the wind was trying to blow him off, he got back on his broom and tied the trunk to it, slowly beginning to inch forward and out of the tree.  
  
Soon after, he was out of the leaves and flying against, if possible, worse wind and rain.  
  
After what seemed like an age, what felt like he couldn't get any wetter, he saw the outline of the wrought iron gate of the Potter Manor.  
  
With a sigh of relief and a groan of exhaustion, Sirius clambered off his broom. Going head on with the wind and rain just down the long drive way was just to much.  
  
What seemed like forever, Sirius shuffled through the mud and puddles, heaving his trunk through the thick goo as he went along and eventually, the porch coming into view through a thick veil of rain.  
  
He climbed up the stairs and to the entrance, shivering in the cold and the wind and the sharp pains. Slowly, he raised a cut and battered hand to the knocker. Knock. Knock. --- "James, can you get that?" His mother's pleasant voice rang from the music room a floor below. Grumbling, James rolled over in a half sleep. "James!"  
  
"I'm on it, I'm on it." A boy with messy raven hair and large glasses, muttered, pulling on some jogging pants and a tank top. He yawned and scratched the back of his head, shuffling out of the bedroom and down the stairs.  
  
"Night, mom." James said as he crossed paths with his mother, kissing her own the cheek and heading over to the door. Again, there was another faint knock from the door, this one a bit more soft then the first.   
  
"Potter manor, James Pott..... Sirius?" He blinked and rubbed his eyes, not believing what he saw.  
  
Sirius stood before him, pale and shaking and bloody and filthy. "Wha.... who..?" James questioned, pulling the boy into the house, grabbing a winter cloak from the coat hanger and throwing it around the other's shoulders. "What happened, Sirius? What happened?" It was scary, really, how sickened the boy looked.  
  
Sirius looked at him dreadfully, his haunty eyes large and dead. His sallow skin stretched over his face, covered in mud and blood. Where the blood was coming from, he didn't know. It all seemed to end in start in different places. The dark hair was even darker, dirty and wet and matted to his hair. He was shivering.  
  
"Please don't make me go back there." The sickened boy croaked suddenly, falling to his knees in a swift movement, as if he could no longer stand. "Don't, don't.." He sobbed. Shocked, James fell to his own knees and wrapped his arms around the other protectively. Wondering what had happened.  
  
"Sshh." He rubbed his friend's back, rocking him a bit, letting him cry into his chest. "No one is going to make you go anywhere. I promise." He soothed, "We'll go upstairs and you're going to have a nice hot bath and some food and you're going to tell me what happened, okay, Padfoot?" James cupped his friend's face in his hands, "But, will you stay here for a moment while I go talk to Dad? Stay here. Can you do that for me?" When Sirius nodded, James stood up and backed away, turning and heading for his dad's study.  
  
The study was on the first floor in the long hall, but it always seemed to go undetected, hovering under the large staircase.   
  
He rushed, knocking over a house elf as he moved, and only just remembered to knock at the last second, not bothering for a reply as he entered. "Dad.." James said breathlessly, looking at an older mirror image of himself sitting at a desk. "Sirius is here. He was hurt badly." He surprised himself with the tone he used with his father. "I.. I.. thought you should know.. He needs to stay here.." James spoke, his tone softening.  
  
Mr. Potter nodded a bit, a sad smile resting on his lips as he got up and followed his son, in case any help was needed.  
  
When James got back to Sirius, the boy had passed out on the floor, buried within the robes. "Sirius.." He murmured, slipping his arms under the boy with ease, from much experience, shuffling up the stairs with his dad carrying the trunk.  
  
When he made it up to the bedroom, he had passed a house elf and ordered a lot of food and chocolate to be brought up. His father set the trunk down in the other bedroom and then went told his son he was going back downstairs. James nodded and crawled up onto the bed, slowly shaking his friend to wake him up.  
  
"Come on Sirius, wake up.. Wake up.."  
  
Sirius writhered and shivered a bit, from cold and pain as he slowly came to. "Wha...?" His eyes glazed over a bit, him pausing in movement and words before he looked over and focused on the other. "Oh James.." He bit his lip, clearly having trouble with saying whatever he wanted and needed to say. "Father.. Rape.. pain." He murmured, shutting his lovely dark, but scared eyes. "Drunk."  
  
"You're father, he raped you?" Sirius gasped, half accidentally glancing down 'there.' A fiery blaze flickered in James' eyes for a second, his hands turning into angered fists. "Hold on, Sirius. Everything will be okay." Water. Warm water. Everything would feel better after a very nice, relaxing bath.  
  
James abandoned his weakened friend for a moment, slipping into the astounding bathroom and turning the water on to a fairly warm temperature, putting no soap in or anything that could make the abrasions sting even more. Once everything was sit, he went back into the bedroom and pulled his friend up, bringing him into the bathroom.  
  
"Come here, love." He stood by the tub and slowly began to unbutton Sirius' shirt, helping him get out of his clothes. Sirius' eyes opened wide and he shivered nervously, backing away from James.  
  
He's scared, James realized. He's nervous about contact. "It's okay." He said, backing away with his hands up. "I'll let you take a shower. If you need anything, anything at all, I'm here, okay?"  
  
Stepping out and shutting the door, he began to work fast, going into the other bedroom and unpacking the clothes, putting them into the closet with other clothes his parents had already bought for Sirius. He took out a pair of pajamas for his friend and then a nice fluffy bathrobe, going back into the other room.  
  
"Sirius?" James spoke softly, knocking on the bathroom door. "Are you okay, can I come in?" There was a funny little noise and the water began to drain.  
  
"Okay, James.."  
  
He waited a minute before entering, glancing around to find his friend staring blankly into the mirror. Now that the mud and blood was gone, James could see a dark and cut bruise resting on the other's cheek, along with several cuts and gashes running down his arms and chest and legs.   
  
"Oh my God, Sirius, come here." Instead, he stepped forward with the robe and threw it over the other's shoulders, wrapping him up in it and a hug. He embraced his friend until two tired arms encircled his waist and the wet head pressed against his shoulder. Pulling away, James guided the Sirius over to the bed. There was silence for a time, until a house elf brought up the food.  
  
"Here... eat something." He offered a piece of chocolate. "Sirius, you have to tell me what's wrong."  
  
Sirius didn't look at him for awhile, just leaning against him and crying softly. Soothing him, James kissed his forehead and damp dark locks, stroking the better of the two cheeks gently.   
  
"So much.. James.. so much.." The boy cried weakly. He cringed as he stroked his friend comfortingly. Sirius was so beautiful and fragile, now. He felt so helpless. How could someone hurt something so precious?  
  
Sirius softly began to explain, leaving out some of the more painful details, cutting off often. It took much self control for James not to scream out in rage, for that would scare the other. It took awhile, yes, sitting there and listening to the sniffling, stroking hair constantly and kissing cheeks.   
  
"I'm here for you, baby, you know that." He wrapped his arms around Sirius comfortingly, rocking him. "Dad says you can stay here and I'm sure Mum'll be more than happy for me to have some company. I'll write to your mother in the morning okay? To let her know you'll be staying here. They need to know your safe." The last statement would not be argued with, James was going to have to OWL Mrs. Black.  
  
James lifted a long fingered hand to his friend's cheek, brushing the salty tears away, doing all he could do to show the other that he loved him and that everything would be all right.   
  
"No!" A sharp whisper ejected from Sirius, "No, my mother doesn't give a damn where I am. And.. And she'll tell him. He'll come here, he'll take me back, James!" There was panic in his voice now as he pushed away. "He'll know I told you. He might hurt you, I'm putting all of you in danger." He tried to stand up but failed. "I shouldn't have come here, I need to get away." He ran a hand through his hair, "He already knows, I bet.." Sirius' eyes widen and his body began to shake.   
  
James pulled Sirius back and held onto him tightly. "Padfoot, shut up. You are not leaving. I won't let you. Period. And don't tell me you're going to, because you aren't. I'm going to write to your mother. Your father can do anything he damn well pleases. But I'm here fore you." He kissed the boy's forehead. "And my mum is good with hexes... and Dad has a mean right hook, at that. You are safe here, I swear." The two boys sat there for some time. "Sirius... would you like to talk to my dad? I mean, I'd come with you, but talk to him about staying permanently? I want you to know what my family will do to keep you safe."  
  
"James.." Sirius spoke weakly, "I love you.." He pressed his body against the other's tiredly. "I.. I couldn't impose." He sighed, "But.. if you want to talk.. then.. okay. I just don't want to.."  
  
"You aren't imposing." James said flatly. "And I love you, too. How about we go find my dad now, okay?" He kissed the other's nose before pulling away from his arms. "And when we get down stairs, we'll look for some healing potion for those cuts, okay? Mum always keeps a surplus around." The two walked downstairs, hand in hand, heading for Mr. Potter's study.  
  
"Dad, can we come in?" James asked, speaking softly and knocking on the door.  
  
"Mmmhmmm." A busy reply came, signaling them in.  
  
The office was lovely, dark colors and leather, and very cozy. It seemed more like a den with it's fireplace and book shelves. The whole anomaly of the thing was the large work desk that sat adjacent to the fireplace, covered with quills and parchment. James' older reflection sat there, looking at them with a sympathetic smile. "Boys, please, sit down." He magicked three cups of cocoa and took his, leaning back and looking at them. "What is it that I can do for you?" Mr. Potter looked Sirius over, a small frown line creasing in his brow. "Are you all right?"  
  
Sirius looked at James with wide eyes, confused and lost. He tried to say something, but made a funny squeaking noise. "I.. my.." He couldn't get the words out. Pathetically, the boy looked down into his cup of hot chocolate and bit back a sniffle.  
  
"Dad.." James spoke carefully, "Sirius..er.. sort of.. he.. " He scratched the back of his head, "Ran away from home." Harold Potter whistled.  
  
"Pretty good reason, then?"  
  
"Yeah.. there is.." His son said and Sirius made a nervous, urgent sound. James bit his lip and looked at his friend, taking his hand in his own. "Which can be discussed some other time, okay?" He looked at his father hopefully.   
  
"Yes, I see.." Harold mumbled, nodding. "Do your parents know where you are? Or shall I write to them in the morning?" James had to smile proudly at his father. They sounded so much alike, sometimes. He felt his hand being squeezed a little tighter.  
  
"No.. sir.. please.. sir." Sirius said and looked away from the look James threw at him. "I mean, only to my mother. Not my father.." He stared down into his lap, shutting his eyes tightly. "I - just. My..." He lifted his head and took a breath to soothe himself. "If you don't want me to stay -- if I'm imposing -- I'll understand. I'll - I'll go.. I'm sorry.. So sorry."   
  
Herald shook his head and stood up, walking over to Sirius and kneeling in front of him, touching his cheek with fatherly affection. You aren't imposing. Never think that you are. You are like a second son to us. All right? You can stay here until the end of the summer and as long as you need to, okay?" When Sirius nodded, "Good then. I'll send an owl to your mother in the morning. Do you have everything you need? Clothes, belongings?"  
  
"Sleeping wise, you can take the adjoining room to James' like you always have, unless you prefer to get away from that.. thing.." James made a 'humph' sound but smiled. He and his father had a special bond. They could pick on each other like that and tease. "If.. you want.. I could see what the Ministry can do.. and get you a foster family." Sirius gasped, "With your own annoying brother, if that is what you'd like."  
  
James and Sirius were both thinking the same thing. Incest.  
  
"Er... " Sirius smiled weakly, unsure of how to say what he wanted to, "Well.. Thank you for the offer sir.. but I really, really couldn't do that.. Because..er.. my.. mother." He blinked, and tried to save himself by making a joke out of it, "Besides, I get enough of James at school. And to be called his brother.."  
  
"Hey! I'm not that embarrassing, am I?" James smiled, pretending to brush a tear away. Herald smirked and chuckled with amusement.  
  
"Never the less, I'm going to contact the Ministry and your headmaster that you'll be staying with us." The clock struck midnight, "I'm going to go to bed, now. If you need anything, either of you, please, don't be afraid to ask. And that's an order." He stood up and kissed them each on the forehead in a fatherly like manner, before giving a nod and excused himself from the study.  
  
Sirius looked surprised, pressing a hand to his forehead. "I don't know what to say, mate. You have the best parents in the world and I feel terrible for intruding like this." He shuffled his feet, looking anywhere but the sweet eyes of his friend." Tiredly, he yawned and rubbed his eyes, looking exhausted, but a little better.  
  
"You are not bloody intruding and next time you say that I'm going to hang you out the window ok?" James said threateningly, a smile plastered across his face. "And I'm tired, aren't you? Let's go to bed." With a nod, James rose to his feet and slipped his arm around the other's waist, walking with him up the stairs.  
  
Upon entering, James abandoned his friend to go to the bathroom. "I left some pajamas on the bed for you and you can sleep wherever you feel most comfortable tonight, okay?"  
  
He disappeared into the bathroom and got a tooth brush and tooth paste out, peering into the mirror. He felt and looked tired. James wandered back into the bedroom to check on Sirius and smiled when he saw the boy crawling under the covers of his own bed. "Thatsth meant to be myth bed..." Shaking his head, he turned back and went into the bathroom, returning to the bedroom once again with minty fresh breath.   
  
James sat on the bed and Sirius scooted over a bit, allowing him some room. Lying down and turning out the light, he draped an arm over his friend's side. "Siri," He murmured soothingly, "I just want you to know... that I'm here for you. I'll protect you. You can talk to me about anything.... Sirius?" There was no reply, but the soft, even breathing of his lover sleeping. "I love you." 


	2. Howlers, swimming, fathers, oh my!

Okay, thank you for all of the reviews! However, only six or so have shown up, so I will not be listing any names today. Please, read and review it for a writer's sanity and sake.

No, I don't own the charas. Yet.

----

Sirius yawned, rubbing his eyes tiredly, wondering where he was. As he felt the warm body against him, it all came back to him in one large, wet, cold, blurry memory. A loud groan escaped, just think to think about it was unbearable.  
  
He rolled over and was face to face with James. "Morning, hun." He mumbled tiredly, although this had no effect in waking him up. Smiling a bit, he watched the lovely other sleep.   
  
He loved to watch James sleep. His soft pink lips parted as he slept, making little noises as his chest rose and fall. His hair was as wild and as unruly as ever, sticking up and making his face look childish and innocent. So beautiful and so vulernable. "Wake up.."  
  
James groaned and rolled away from him. "Five more minutes." Sirius grinned, letting his long fingers dance up the side of his friend. James was as much of a morning person as a cat was a swimmer.  
  
"Sirius.." James murmured, brushing the hand away. He rubbed his eyes and searched for his glasses, finding them and rolling back over to face his boyfriend, draping an arm over the other's stomach. "Sleep well, babe?" He glanced over at the clock. Now there was a new label that said 'SIRIUS.' He and James were smack dab in the middle of 'SLEEPING.' and 'AWAKE.' "Breakfast is at 9.30 AM, what's the time now?"  
  
"It's... 8.30 now." Sirius said, glancing at the clock and smiling a bit at his name. He snuggled up next to James, "Yeah, I did. What about you, hun?" He brushed his lips over James' face and neck, then straightened up and clambered out of bed. "Clothes.. clothes." He muttered, going into the bathroom and freshening up.  
  
"I slept all right." James called, rising out of bed and getting ready for breakfast, too. The two got changed rather quickly, pulling on an arrangement of clothes. He looked out the window and smiled as a large tawny flew from the house. "There goes your letter."  
  
Sirius didn't say anything, looking down at his shoes and taking special interest in them. How fast was that owl? Taking his mind from the letter, he jumped up and flew into James' arms, knocking him back a bit and hanging onto him. "Half an hour till breakfast.. I think I'm going to starve to death...." As if on cue, his belly grumbled demandingly. "I might faint!" James rolled his eyes.  
  
"You'll live through it, Sirius. I once read about this one muggle who survived on two candy bars for forty-some days." Sirius shrieked, as if it were a blow to his stomach.   
  
James walked over to a drawer and rummaged through, pulling out a potion. "Drink this, mate. You'll feel one hundred percent better." He handed his friend a medium sized vial who glanced at it cautiously. "Go on, and drink it."  
  
Taking a breath, he took the potion and looked down at it. Sirius would refuse if his muscles didn't ache and he didn't feel exhausted. Pinching his nose he said, "Cheers." And downed the nasty substance, feeling the warmth spread from his throat and heal his sores. "That stuff is disgusting. But I feel better, thanks mate." He wrapped his arms around James, slumping against the body for comfort, turning his head toward the window. "I hope she doesn't show it to my dad.."  
  
"I'm glad you feel better. And even if she does show it to him, he can't hurt you. I promise." James lowered his head to the other's, kissing him lovingly. His tone fell serious and he paused, "Sirius.. has he ever.. done that to you before?"  
  
"R-rape me? No. He beat me up almost weekly during the summers, sometimes just a slap and sometimes enough to get cuts." He buried his face into the other's neck, pulling him down and sitting on the floor. "He never wanted to rape me.. I think.. He'd touch me.. and made me touch him.. even when I was little.." Sirius took in some air, his breath becoming uneven and heavy.   
  
The tears began to run. "He said all I'd be good for was being screwed into bed and I was nothing but an air head. Now do you know why I hate it when people say I'm handsome and pretty and beautiful? That compliment only scares me, James, and I'm only here for people to look at and fuck."  
  
James' eyes widened and he wrapped his arms around his lover. "Shhh... Sirius.. sshh..." Pulling himself and the sobbing young man up and over to the bed, sitting down on the edge. "First of all, you are good in bed because you are beautiful and handsome and pretty and beautiful. I won't deny that you are attractive." Wiping the tears away, James cupped the face up to his, "But one thing you're not is an airhead. Hold on."   
  
He reached behind him and pulled out a transfiguration book. so slightly to pick up one of their books that they used to study when they were training to be Animagus "Transformation under potion is an extremely complicated task, especially when the transformation is from human to animal...This transformation becomes more complicated when the human then takes the task one step further...To be able to transform at will at any time." Snapping the book closed.  
  
"You are not stupid and you aren't an airhead. You are smart and strong. You know that. Don't listen to your father, he doesn't know anything, okay?"  
  
Sirius looked down at the quilt of the bed with shame, playing with one of the strings and sighing guiltily. "I.. guess your right." He spoke with defeat, "But... it's just.. he told it to me all the time, ever since I was little." With a shrug he continued. "You tend to believe things after they are drilled into your head." Shifting uncomfortably, he sighed and went on, looking away and out the window.   
  
"He touched me, James. I had to touch him. It was mad. I'm afraid.... Now do you know why I never went to bed with you. I just can't. Not now. Not yet." He slammed his fist into the soft mattress and looked at his lip, not able to meet his best friend's hazel eyes. He was so mad at times. He had always wanted to lose his virginity to the man he loved. And now it was gone, all gone.  
  
James followed suit, dropping his eyes and looking away. "You know I would never hurt you, Sirius...Ever.." His voice was a mere croak, "And he won't hurt you. I won't let him." Smiling weakly, he slid to his knees and scooted on the floor to face his friend, cupping the other's hands.   
  
"And I have never pushed you into anything... because I love you, and if I didn't, I'd be off fucking someone else, wouldn't I?" Pushing a strand of ebony hair away from the beauty's face, he sighed. It was true, he had never pushed his boyfriend into anything after their first encounter.  
  
Sirius smiled a bit, picking up each hand and kissing it. "I know, James, I know. You'd never hurt me or push me into anything. "I'm just so afraid. So scared." He slid onto the floor and wrapped his arms around James. "I'm just not ready." And he wasn't. And he felt guilty of that. James gave him so much and he could never give his love back. He wanted to prove his love; to give the messy haired Gryffindor everything. But he couldn't. As his stomach growled, he changed the subject.  
  
"Shall we go to breakfast?" Rising, he looked around, seeming to look for a hole to crawl into. Finding none, he sighed and kissed his friend, pulling him up to his feet.  
  
"I know you're scared." James nodded a little bit taken aback by the change of subject, but, leaned into the kiss as they rose, wrapping an arm around Sirius. They didn't say much as they walked downstairs, both contemplating over the previous subject. Before entering the Dining Room, they shared a parting kiss and let go of each other, walking in and sitting down.  
  
"Morning boys." Mrs. Potter was a pretty woman with crinkled black hair that feel down her back, pale, thin, and petite. She had light colored eyes that seemed to change in the reflection of what clothes she wore. Though she was small, she seemed very motherly and kind, always warm and willing for a hug. "Did you sleep well, Sirius? How are you feeling?"  
  
"I'm all right, thank you, ma'am." Sirius said ever so politely, sitting down and nodding to her, curious at just how much Herald had told her. "Where is Mr. Potter?"  
  
"He's in his office, he'll be out soon. Oh, Sirius, do you need a healing --"  
  
"I already gave him some, mum." James said, smiling softly. An approving nod came from his mother as she fanned a napkin over her lap. When Mr. Potter came in, he greeted the boys with nods and kissed his wife a good morning.  
  
"I just got a letter from the Ministry, Sirius." Herald said as he sat down, exchanging smiles with his wife. "Everything paperwork wise is going through. This means we'll be your guardians."   
  
Sirius' jaw dropped as he gaped at Mr. Potter, wondering if he was kidding. For once, ignored the food that had just been placed in front of him. "I... wha.... thank you, Sir. Thank you so much." He couldn't say those words enough. "Thank you so much.." The Potters were his official guardians. He didn't have to go back!   
  
He just couldn't hold back the idiotic grin that spread across his face as he jumped up and wrapped his arms around the middle of the middle aged man, repeating the same two words constantly. "Thank you.. thank you.."   
  
"You're quite welcome." Mr. Potter said with amusement and allowed himself to be half strangled, half hugged.  
  
Smirking like the Cheshire cat, James pulled the thrilled and shaking teenager back into his seat. "And if you say fank oo' one mer time I'll.." He waved his fork threateningly through a mouthful of egg. "Does his mother know?"  
  
Herald was about to speak when a dark owl swooped in, dropping a scarlet covered envelope into Sirius' pancakes. Everyone stared at the letter as if it were a bomb, which, in some terms, it sort of was.  
  
"I think she does.." Mr. Potter said, eyes wide at howler. "You might was well open it. It'll be worse if you don't."  
  
"I think she knows, too." Sirius muttered, looking very pale. "I think I'm going to take this in the hall, if you will." He rose, shaking the syrup off of the envelope and bolted out of the room with it.  


  
---  


  
Though the walls were thick, the sharp, cruel voice was clearly audible, deafening to James' ears.   
  
"YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE TWIT! HOW DARE YOU RUN FROM YOUR OWN FATHER. DO YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT, YOU FOOLISH CHILD! ALL HE DID WAS TRY AND PROTECT YOU, AND THEN YOU RUN FROM HIM! HAVE YOU NO RESPECT?"  
  
Yeah right, James thought. Mr. Black doesn't have any respect for his son, why should he get it back?  
  
"YOU SICKEN ME, YOU WORTHLESS WHINER. YOUR FATHER DID HIS BEST TO TELL YOU AS SIMPLY AS POSSIBLE THAT ONLY SLYTHERINS ARE WORTHY OF THE FAMILY, YOU PERVERT! Herald winced slightly and Sophia cupped a hand over her mouth with a small gasp. James lowered himself in his seat, fearing for what would come.  
  
"Poor Siri.." He whispered into the thin air.  
  
"AFTER ALL THE FAMILY'S DONE FOR YOU, YOU END WITH A GRYFFINDOR! AND A BOY NONE THE LESS! SHOULD HAVE KNOWN FROM ALL THE TIME YOU SPENT WITH THAT POTTER BOY.."   
  
James made a funny squeaking noise like a mouse being trodden on as he heard to shocked gasps and the crashing of a tea cup. Things were not looking very good.  
  
"OH YES! I KNOW ALL ABOUT THAT! SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT THAT STUPID JOURNAL AROUND, SHOULD'VE YOU? JUST YOU WAIT, YOU SLUT, YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS!" There was a pause of silence, before the soft sound of paper burning and curling up into ashes. There was a single soft sound that seemed like a dog being kicked in the side, and then complete and utter silence.  
  
"Oh.. My.. God.." James whispered, wanting to sink down into a hole in the floor and never rise again.  
  
Mr. Potter was very quiet for a moment, searching for his words, before speaking up but not looking at his son. "James... my office?"  
  
The two rose and Mrs. Potter followed them out of the dining room, leaving them and turning over to Sirius, who was pressed against the wall, shaken, but able to exchange glanced with his boyfriend and the mouthing of 'I love you.'  
  
It was frightening. It seemed like Sirius felt as if they were going to meet their doom very shortly. This didn't make James feel any better.  
  
James sat down in a lazy armchair that faced the desk at which his father sat at. He stared down at his hands but could feel the older mans's eyes boring into him, studying him very closely. It was unnerving.  
  
"How long..?" Mr. Potter asked vaguely, a little calmer then he really was.   
  
"How long what?" His stomach sank quickly, avoiding the subject the best he could. Didn't work.  
  
"Have you been with him."  
  
"Oh." The conversation was sharp and fast, very formal and clean cut. It was almost as if the man sitting across from James was a completely stranger. "Since around Halloween...." Though James was terrified, a tiny smile flitted very briefly across his lips, remembering their first encounter.  
  
There was a pause as Herald nodded slowly, pressing his fingers together and watching his son quietly.   
  
"I'm s-sorry, Dad. We were going t-to tell you.. but-"  
  
"For what?" James silenced and blinked. "Your mother and I love you, you know that... So, if this is what you choose.." Mr. Potter sighed, "So be it. But," The man paused again, thinking for a moment, "I don't want anything of.. that sort happening under this roof, do you understand?"  
  
James looked up and nodded gratefully, but then paused when he remembered something, remembered last night. "Er... Dad.. Ever since that thing that happened last night, he's been afraid of sleeping alone.. so.. It's best that I don't move his bedroom, is it?"   
  
Herald smiled weakly and nodded. With a sigh and a minute of silence he rose. "Come on, now, it's best the we get back to breakfast. Knowing your mother, everything will have been long settled between them."   
  
The son grinned almost sheepishly as he stood up and cautiously followed his father from the office, looking at his mother and Sirius still sitting on the floor, chatting. Neither of which seemed to be crying. That was good.  
  
Mr. Potter walked over to them and lifted his wife and Sirius to their feet, slipping his arm around the woman's waist. "Come on now, the bacon is probably freezing." As the two disappeared into the Dining room, Sirius and James stared at each other, each dumb founded by what had happened.  
  
"Sirius.." He said as the other boy fell into his arms in a tight hug, clinging to him for a minute. "What... who are they? They did a complete 180. More than I ever expected.." James sighed and shook his head. "What happened?"  
  
"I.. have no idea.." Sirius sighed, shutting his eyes. "I suppose it's for the best.. your parents know, my parents now.. mind you, they don't really care." With a sigh, he pulled away but slid his hand around James' waist.  
  
"Yeah, me neither mate." He agreed, lining kisses on his boyfriend's neck before moving back into the other room, sitting down at the table and linking his hand with Sirius', exchanging glances with him.  
  
Blah blah blah. Mr. and Mrs. Potter kept trying to talk, lecturing on about utterly pointless things that had no point. They were just making noise to keep the awkward silence that could easily break loose at bay. They tried to get the boys to talk but it was useless.   
  
"Er.. mum, dad, me and Dad are gonna go fly. Can't play on a full stomach, right? If you'll excuse us.." James rose, looking at Sirius with wide, hinting eyes. Sirius didn't need to be hinted twice, nodding quickly and standing up, fixing his shirt as he did. The two looked the older Potters, waiting for the signal to be dismissed.  
  
"All right boys, have fun." Mrs. Potter said with a nod to them. Her eyes flickered over to Sirius and she smiled ever so slightly. He smiled back. James occasionally wondered what charm Sirius seemed to have with women, whether or not he was gay.  
  
"Thanks." Sirius said with a smile, shooing his boyfriend out of the dining room and following him, hurrying them out of the large house and onto the porch, sighing with relief as the cool air swept over his face. "Thank God were out of there.." He smiled, wrapping the other up in a hug. "How was your father? Your mum was okay, except she gave me the 'No snogging in the house.' rule."  
  
"My dad was cool." James said with a smile, wrapping his arm around the other's waist and resting his head on the shoulder as they walked. "He said the same thin mum said, basically. I can't believe your mother said that, though, in a howler.. I mean, what if they had flipped.. and.. and had thrown us out? Where would we have gone?" He sighed, "And now your dad probably knows.."  
  
Sirius shrugged. "Nah, they wouldn't kick you out. I could say I was the one with feelings for you and they would just shoo me out. I'd do anything to make sure you didn't get hurt because of me. I'm persuasive mate, they'd believe me. But, we could always by that mansion with my million galleons." He smiled weakly.   
  
"So.." He began to change the subject again, "They said none of 'that' stuff in the house.. Nothing about the woods." He smiled playfully, but it was clear in his eyes he didn't want to do any of 'that' stuff any time soon.  
  
"Your dad even tries.." James growled, more viscously than he had ever spoke before. "Your dad tries anything...And I'll kick his fucking brains in..." Flushing red at just the thought of someone harming HIS Sirius again. Making a final, violent gesture, he relaxed and pulled Sirius along, toward a shady grove of trees.  
  
"We could buy that mansion..I tell you what mate...We WILL buy that mansion..." Letting out a sigh and nipping gently at his neck. "As soon as we leave school...Even if we have to go abroad...You up for that?" Smiling up at him. "And that's true...The woods are still ours for the taking...Not.. Not that we would of course.." Clearing his throat and grinning innocently.  
  
Sirius smiled and cupped his hand into James', slowly walking toward a grove of trees, taking in the warm air. "It's such a lovely day, isn't it? So pea-" He froze and scrunched up his nose. "Now I'm beginning to sound like an old person." Shaking his head he grinned and hitched up his trousers, "Le's go out there and hunt us some dinner!"  
  
"Yeee Haw!" James called out, horrible at accents. He wrapped an arm around the 'hill Billy' and sauntered forward. "Ever been horse back riding? The neighbors up the road let me and Mum borrow some horses once. That is, if your not up to the challenge.. we could always go swimming or something."  
  
"Swimming!" Sirius said with glee, clapping his hands together as if he had said it first. "Brilliant idea, I'm so glad I thought of it." With a shake of his head, James guided his boyfriend across the grounds, hurrying up as the sun rose in the sky, causing the two to get hotter and more sweaty.   
  
Sirius pulled off his shirt, exposing a torso with a few white scratches from the tree and a small bruise James could see half hidden in the boxers on the man's side. The dog blushed a bit as he pulled off his pants and kicked off his shoes, looking over at James and waiting patiently. "After you, sir."  
  
James grinned and slowly pulled off his own clothing, swaying his hips and humming 'I'm Too Sexy. You can go first.." When Sirius just stood there, he sighed. "Oh for heavens sakes." And picked the boy up, cradling him like a baby. "Ready?" He jumped in and as they hit the water, he let the other go and began to swim.  
  
Saying that James was a good swimmer was almost an understatement. He was lean and slender, perfect for cutting through the water and had long, powerful strokes. It felt good to be there; the water running through his hair and touching his skin.   
  
"Show off!" The boy called, slapping the water playfully and floating on his back. Truth was, Sirius couldn't swim a stroke to save his life. He grabbed the swimmer around the middle and held on, allowing himself to be pulled across the pool. "Wee. Slow down!"  
  
"Sissy." Murmured James, stopping and turning to his boyfriend and letting him float into his arms. He cupped the other's buttocks in his hands and pressed him against his chest like a baby. "Now, my sweet little Sirius, we're gonna learn to swim, aren't we?" He pinched the other's cheek, making baby noises. "Or are you going to stop whining like a baby?" He stuck his tongue out.  
  
"No." Sirius said in a high pitched, childishly like voice as he ran his hands through the silky locks of his boyfriend's hair. "I don't want to learn how to swim, Daddy, and you can't make me." He splashed the water up around them and pushed himself against James, covering the tongue with his mouth and floating them over to the wall. James felt the solid wall press against his back as he circled his arms around the man's waist.   
  
"When we buy our mansion.." He sighed with a dreamy haze when they broke apart. "Are we going to have a pool? Indoor or outdoor or indoors with a sun roof?"   
  
"Indoor.. sun roof.." James muttered in between kisses. "With a limo... and a butler.. and a Quidditch pitch. Heh, maybe we'll just stay here." Catching gentle lips with his own, he began to battle tongues. He ran his finger nails up and down the soft skin, feeling the little cuts and scars along the back.  
  
"Yeah, but this isn't indoors and it doesn't have a sun roof." Sirius joked, trailing his fingers under James' arms. "I love you, James. I love you so much.." As he spoke he lined the other's neck with feathery kisses.  
  
James almost blushed, leaning his neck to the side to give as much flesh as possible. "I love you, too, Sirius. I love you. But sometimes.." He sighed, "It's so unbearable. I just.. I just want you.. so badly.." A raised hand and curled around a shoulder, "But.. I won't push you.. I don't want to push you.. I don't want to hurt you.."  
  
"I'm sorry... James.. I'm sorry." Sirius sighed and leaned his head onto the other's chest. "I'm just not ready.. it's so scary.. to.. I mean he.." James rubbed his boyfriend's back to soothe him. "One day I'll make it up to you, I promise. I promise.."  
  
"I know you will. And I will wait as long as it takes, because I love you." They shared a long kiss; James pushed away from the wall so they began to float in the water lazily. "And we'll need a Jacuzzi.." He groaned slightly as the wheels in his head turned. "Our mansion will be the most amazing thing the Potters and Blacks ever saw.." He murmured, lining Sirius' neck and shoulders with kisses.  
  
"Yes... a Jacuzzi.. with bubbles.." He sighed into the kisses, his hips giving a bit of a jerk. Sirius blushed terribly. James pretended not to notice, but smiled and brushed his lips other the others. "You know what, James.. you are the sweetest person I have ever met.." He nuzzled his friend and purred with content.  
  
"Mmmmhmmmmmm..." James murmured as he lost track of what was going on. "Not as sweet as you." He cackled into another kiss. "You know, this is kind of cheesy, isn't it?" He grinned, "I feel like some Newly Wed Couple or something.." The two sniggered.   
  
Pulling away from his boyfriend's ear lobe, James looked up. "You know, they can probably see everything that's going on. The study's window is just up there." He pointed to a section of the house that was slightly visible, but hard to see due to the glare of the sun.  
  
Sirius rose and squinted, looking over at the house. "Yes.. true.. but I don't think he's going to come down here and tell us to stop the snog session. To awkward for him." With a final kiss, he pushed away from his friend. Ohhh I don't know if we should do this. I don't want to corrupt daddy's little boy." He fluttered his eyelashes sweetly and pretended to look innocent. Or. Er. As innocent as he could manage.  
  
"Don't pull that face with me, Paddy. You know it doesn't work." He scowled ever so slightly but pushed Sirius under the water, strutting over to the pool steps and waiting for the other to rise again before he spoke. "And I believe I was the one that corrupted you first... Remember?" On their First Encounter, he had been the one to give the first kiss, which happened to be followed by several more.   
  
He battered his eyelashes, mimicking the Innocent Sirius before he climbed out of the pool, his cotton boxers clinging to him very tightly; the sunlight catching the drops of water that flowed off his tanned skin.   
  
James shook his hips innocently as he strutted over to a lawn chair, getting a whistle from Sirius as he did. He sat down and placed a towel over his waist and sighed comfortably, leaning back.  
  
"Mate, you look like such a bloody model." Sirius called, swimming over to the side and climbing up. No, it was he who looked like the model. Like James, his boxers clung to him but he was carved with all the right curves. His chest was broader and he had more muscles then James could raise a candle.  
  
"Whooo! Sexy, mate, sexy!" James called from his chair and waited for the other to sit down, who promptly began to put sun tan oil on. "Sooooooo.... Have you gotten your O.W.L.S yet?" Trust him to talk about something totally irrelevant.  
  
"No.." Sirius blinked, clearly surprised from the change of subject. "But I probably got a T in Potions. What about you, my DEER friend?"  
  
"First, you did not get a T in Potions. Second, my grades are going to be as good as yours. And thirdly, I'm a STAG, you little Yet-To-Be-House-Broken puppy." He shook his messy, wet hair, flicking speckles of water all over Sirius' face. "Argh.. my glasses, mate, I swear. I need contacts. Can you hand me my specs?"  
  
"Yes, your highass." Sirius nodded, taking the glasses off the table and cleaning them. "And I stand on what I've always said." As he spoke, he slid the glasses onto his own nose. "You are much sexier with them. Dude.. how do you see out of these things?"  
  
"Siri, give those back." He pulled the glasses away from the other's face blindly, putting them back on and rubbing his eyes. "Trousers...ahah." James searched around and slipped his flares and T-shirt on, turning to his boyfriend. "I'm thirsty. Have you ever had lemon sherbet soda?"  
  
"I've never had lemon.. sherbet.. soda." Sirius rose, pulling on his own clothes and pushing his damp hair back. "And!" He said, going into a girlish tone as he slapped James on the arm as they walked. "You have just GOT to tell me where you got those new flares. I have looked like every-shit." He froze.  
  
A darkly looking man of around forty stood at the front door. He had medium black hair and the darkest and coldest eyes James had ever seen. Though it was swelteringly hot outside, the man wore thick dark robes, boots, and leather gloves. "My father." Sirius whispered.  
  
"How did he fucking get in? The gate's closed.." James snaked an arm comfortingly around his boyfriend's waist. "Come on."  
  
"No.. James.. please. Let's just get out of here." Sirius whimpered, gripping the other's arm and beginning to pull him away. "We can just run.. go in the back way.. get your parents.. please."  
  
James stood his ground and pulled his boyfriend back. "What the hell are you doing here? This is private property. Now please, get the fuck off my land or I'll get the Ministry into this."  
  
Mr. Black did not seem to hear James but he looked to him. "I am here for my son." As he spoke, he looked directly at the Potter, as if Sirius were a piece of property. "Sirius." The man barked. "Come here. Now." James felt the shaking boy grip onto his arm very tightly, causing him to cringe.  
  
"No." Sirius squeaked. He looked extremely pale and crossed his legs. Poor Siri.  
  
"What did you say to me?" Mr. Black snarled and James could see why his son was so afraid. The older man looked like he could kill without a second thought. He had no mercy, no remorse. It was frightening. He took a threatening step forward.  
  
"He said no." James called, stepping in front of Mr. Black, ignoring the shriek from Sirius. "You have no legal rights over him anymore. If you lay one finger on him, I will take you through all the Ministry courts and then the Muggle ones, too." His head was bent forward slightly, in a menacing, dangerous sort of way.   
  
"My father is officially Sirius' god father who is to take on any responsibilities of a father if the biological father is unfit for his duties..Which I would say describes you perfectly, doesn't it, Mr. Black?" He looked fit to kill. He was not going to back down until the adult was knocked to the ground or off the property.  
  
Both Blacks raised their dark eyebrows and widened their eyes but for different reasons. Sirius was stunned by how brave and crazy James was, and Mr. Black was amused by the silliness and stupidity of this child. "I will have you know.." He rounded on James but Sirius distracted him with a mock as their voices fell in one, "Head of the Supreme Court." Sirius was given a death glare.  
  
"I have given you a god damned shelter, food, and the clothing on your back. Now, you tell me about my damned duties." The man spat with disdain, glaring down at James as he referred to his son.  
  
"Come on.. James -- please, let's just go." Sirius whimpered, tugging on his boyfriend's arm nervously.  
  
James didn't answer or take his eyes off the elder. "Gave him a lot more than that, didn't you, Mister Black?" He spat, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Now, unless you want me to get my father, I suggest you leave."  
  
"You watch your words, boy." Mr. Black glared at James. With a swish of his cloak, he was gone with a small 'pop.' Sirius sighed.  
  
"He'll be back.."


End file.
